Shorter Serices or Kosher Kitchen? - Parashat Vayera 5785
Now that I’m installed as your rabbi, I feel more comfortable sharing some thoughts and ideas with you about the challenges of being a Rabbi.
Many of you want me to proceed and review two central aspects of synagogue life. Some want me to be stricter, while some expect me to be more lenient. These two topics are kashrut and prayer, kitchen and services.
I had an interesting conversation with some members three weeks ago on this topic, and I’ve been listening to a variety of opinions and comments since we arrived here.
“We want shorter services,”
“We want slower prayers,”
“We would love to hear more new tunes,” and
“I actually like the more traditional melodies.”
The same thing happens regarding the kitchen:
“We should be more flexible,”
“Don’t you dare to change anything; otherwise, people will leave Temple Judea,”
“If we could just bring our own food to Saturday luncheon,” or
“If you allow people to bring food cooked in their houses, I won’t come to services anymore.”
I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and it is fascinating to note that many of these issues come from our personal places. Naturally, in terms of Jewish identity, we want the synagogues to be an extended version of our homes because we want to feel at home here. So, if I keep a certain level of Kashrut (kosher) at home, I expect to have the same level of Kashrut at the Temple. But this happens specifically in matters related to Kashrut, rather than prayer. It is because most people don’t pray at home the way they pray at the synagogue!
We want synagogues to be extended versions of our homes, but are we ready to take on the challenge of making our homes an extended version of the synagogue?
If you are strictly kosher at your house, and you come to a place that is, apparently, not that kosher, you won’t eat there. But if you don’t pray at home at all, you’ll probably be more open to changes in the prayer. What’s simpler to make shorter and more flexible regarding Tefillah and prayer at the synagogue, it seems more complex to do in terms of the Kashrut of the congregation.
Now I have bad news and good news.
The bad news is that I don’t have a correct answer because there isn’t one.
The good news is that we are here to learn and grow together.
We are looking for a balance. As I said during the installation ceremony, I’m not concerned about what kind of Judaism we make here at Temple Judea. I’m more interested in the way we do Judaism outside the synagogue. Do we pray, study Torah, do tzedakah, and keep kosher in other places? Are we so polite, participative, and generous in different areas of our lives? Can we find a balance where we can be the same person here as outside?
Parashat Vayera teaches us how to practice two essential mitzvot: Hospitality and visiting the sick. Hakhnasat Orḥim and Bikkur Ḥolim. הכנסת אורחים וביקור חולים.
After being circumcised, Abraham receives the visit of three emissaries and three angels. These three mysterious visitors teach us the importance of visiting the sick. The first Hebrew patriarch was recovering from his Brit Milah, and he received the visit of these people. And that’s the second Mitzvah. Abraham's reception of his visitors is one of the first examples of how to welcome people in the Jewish way, which is, of course, with food. (So, never visit a Jew on Yom Kippur.)
The Torah says:
“Adonai appeared to him by the terebinths of Mamre; he was sitting at the entrance of the tent as the day grew hot.”
(Bereshit / Genesis 18:1)
Abraham, who is considered the first Jew in history, the funding father of Jewish tradition, is sitting “at the entrance of the tent”, “petaḥ haohel,” as Abraham represents here the balancing act between what happens outside and what happens inside the house. He is sitting there, in the middle, knowing what’s inside his home, while looking outside to invite people to come. Many commentaries and interpretations of this verse stress Abraham's readiness to welcome more and more people and leave the door open. He was waiting for someone to come all the time. That is the spirit we should pursue.
In fact, Abraham was so committed to the Mitzvah of Hospitality that he didn’t care too much about his medical condition. Moreover, the verse I read before says that the very divine presence was revealed to him in Mamreh, but Abraham left even the Shekhina, the divine presence, to welcome his visitors, his new members. That’s how the Talmud sees this episode.
“Rav Yehuda said that Rav said on a related note: Hospitality toward guests is greater than receiving the Divine Presence, as when Abraham invited his guests it is written: “And he said: Lord, if now I have found favor in Your sight, please pass not from Your servant” (Genesis 18:3). Abraham requested that God, the Divine Presence, wait for him while he tended to his guests appropriately.”
(Shabbat 127b)
Abraham is sitting in that liminal space, at the very thin border between the inside and the outside, inviting us to come and see, calling us to go outside to explore. Parashat Vayera asks us to find the balance between the fundamental spheres of Jewish life: our houses and our synagogues, Bait and Beit Knesset, Shul and Home.
Maybe, guided by Avraham Avinu's vision, we could welcome more people, not just waiting for them to come but even “temporarily” leaving the divine presence to welcome new people actively.
I encourage you to keep bringing your essence to this place and even more to take the spirit of this place to your private spheres, your house, your workplaces, and your families. Take a Siddur or prayer book and pray at home. Choose a prayer and say it, sing it, or discuss it with your family. Once you start doing it at home, you will see how meaningful your Tefillot will transform here at the Synagogue. It is a totally different experience to pray alone than to pray together. One enriches the other and viceversa.§
Take the Kashrut of your houses to the next level. There is no need to go crazy. It is not a change that happens in the blink of an eye, but we can start by avoiding certain foods. Even if that is not easy for you, start by saying blessings before and after you eat, and you will see how deep the simple act of eating becomes. Kashrut is not only the food itself but also how thankful we are for it.
Let me give you want last example of what of what happens in this Parashah in terms of Kashrut:
וְאֶל־הַבָּקָ֖ר רָ֣ץ אַבְרָהָ֑ם וַיִּקַּ֨ח בֶּן־בָּקָ֜ר רַ֤ךְ וָטוֹב֙ וַיִּתֵּ֣ן אֶל־הַנַּ֔עַר וַיְמַהֵ֖ר לַעֲשׂ֥וֹת אֹתֽוֹ׃
Then Abraham ran to the herd, took a calf, tender, and choice, and gave it to a servant-boy, who hastened to prepare it.
(Bereshit, ibid. 7)
Abraham takes a calf, and offers it to his visitors. And immediately afterwards, the Torah tells:
וַיִּקַּ֨ח חֶמְאָ֜ה וְחָלָ֗ב וּבֶן־הַבָּקָר֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר עָשָׂ֔ה וַיִּתֵּ֖ן לִפְנֵיהֶ֑ם וְהֽוּא־עֹמֵ֧ד עֲלֵיהֶ֛ם תַּ֥חַת הָעֵ֖ץ וַיֹּאכֵֽלוּ׃
He took curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared and set these before them; and he waited on them under the tree as they ate.
(ibid, 8)
As far as I know, Jews don’t eat dairy after eating meat, so how does it come that Abraham offered something not kosher to these three people?
Shabbat Shalom!