Remember where you come from - Parashat Vayetze 5785

Sometimes in funerals, it is customary to read the following passage of Pirkei Avot, the Ethics of the Fathers:

“Akabyah ben Mahalalel said: mark well three things and you will not come into the power of sin: know from where you come, and where you are going, and before whom you are destined to give an account and reckoning. From where do you come? From a putrid drop. Where are you going? To a place of dust, of worm and of maggot. Before whom you are destined to give an account and reckoning? Before the King of the kings of kings, the Holy One, blessed be He.”

(Avot 3:1).

Part of the custom is saying this powerful text at a meaningful moment. We are leaving this world, and we are reminded of where we came from and where we are going. If we forget those two important facts, we could face hard consequences. Being conscious of who we are, our tradition, and our personal history can help us deal with the challenges of daily life and the reality of a complex world.

Parashat Vayetze tells the first part of Yaakov’s story. Leaving his house, escaping from his brother, Esav, dreaming, promising, and asking God not to abandon him.

On his way, he finds a group of shepherds and their flocks, who, by chance, were from Ḥaran, the hometown of his uncle, Lavan. Now Lavan was in trouble, because in ancient times there were two options regarding the job of a man as a service supplier. Either you were a slave, which means that all your needs were cover, but no salary was paid to you, or you were a paid worker, like the shepherds. But Ya’akov was none of them. The guy who knew how to work with animals and how to work the land was his brother Esav. Lavan asks Ya’akov: “Just because you are a kinsman, should you serve me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be?.” (Bereshit / Genesis 29:15). Ya’akov answers with an offer his uncle couldn’t refuse: “I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel.” (ibid. v. 18). Seven years passed in a blink of an eye, at least for Yaakov, as is written “and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her.” (vers. 20). And then, the wedding day comes, but things, as you know, didn’t go that smooth.

Oh! Surprise! It was not Raḥel, it was Leah! Oops, sorry!

Jacob, Ya’akov, as expected, gets angry at his uncle, arguing “What is this you have done to me? I was in your service for Rachel! Why did you deceive me?” (vers. 25). Lavan’s response to this question is brilliant, so short and simple, yet hides a strong inquiry to Jacob: “Laban said, It is not the practice in our place to marry off the younger before the older.”

You don’t marry the younger before the older, the same way a father should not give the blessing of a firstborn to the younger son, but to the actual firstborn!

Lavan puts on Ya’kov’s face what he should have known on his own! You did that to your brother, remember? That’s what the Mishna said: know from where you come and where you are going.

In fact, Lavan’s answer says so: this is not the practice in our place, במקומנו. You forgot where you come from! “Lavan’s remark makes it clear that Jacob has no right to complain, for he now receives retribution for having himself overtaken his older brother Esau.” (The Torah, a Modern Commentary, pp. 200)

Sometimes, the best way to know the rules is by breaking them, and Ya’akov broke the rules; he should have known that. Even Though one can still argue that Lavan actually betrayed his nephew, violating the agreement signed seven years before, Jacob’s surprise is surprising. The German theologist, Gherard von Rad, comments this passage, saying

“Laban’s statement however, that in his country one did not give the younger before the older, has a very serious aspect, in spite of the disregard with which it is thrown at Jacob. No one understood it better than Jacob, for he himself as the younger son had crossed the finishing line before his older brother. Thus the narrator show how in this droll story of the coarsest kind a serious nemesis is at work.”

(Genesis - A Commentary (Old Testament Library), Gherard von Rad, pp. 291)

Ya’akov’s story can teach us not only to appreciate our tradition, identity, and values but also to be truly conscious of our actions. After all, he was the one offering so much work for Raḥel, if he had offered less time, this situation would have been solved in a shorter amount of time. shorter period of time. Disowning or denying either our own story or our acts, is not only a disgrace to God but also puts ourselves in risk of severe consequences, just like happened with our forefathers.

And just as Akavya ben Mehalalel said in the Mishna, in the end, we will need to face the truth and give an account and reckoning to the King of Kings. Here comes a more interesting perspective on this story. Acknowledging where we come from and where we are going is not enough.

Von Rad argues that “an even darker mystery is hidden in the event. It is ultimately God’s decree against which Jacob’s pent-up passion bounds. Without Leah, Reuben, Levi and Judah would not have been born, and neither Moses nor David would have appeared. God’s work descended deeply into the lowest worldliness and there was hidden past recognition. The narrator leaves it at that and does not bring it into the open with pious words.” (ibid. 291-292).

Ultimately, if you forget where you come from, at least decide and be conscious of where you are going. Moreover, trust in God, for sometimes he has greater plans than we are capable of seeing.

Shabbat Shalom.